Lindsay Probation Report Would Destroy Her

TMZ has learned ... the L.A. County Probation Department report on Lindsay Lohan is so blistering, it could land her in prison if she's convicted of felony grand theft.



Multiple sources familiar with the probation report tell TMZ ... the report -- drafted after Lindsay allegedly took the necklace in January -- contains something "shocking" and "devastating" against Lindsay.  The info has never been made public and our sources would not divulge specifics -- only to say any judge who uses it to determine sentencing would probably throw the book at Lindsay.

The stakes are high if Lindsay doesn't accept Judge Keith Schwartz' proposed sentence -- which we're told is 3 months in jail.  If Lindsay decides to fight the charge, Judge Stephanie Sautner would use the report to determine sentencing if she decides Lindsay violated her probation.   Lindsay faces more than a year in jail for the probation violation.

And even worse for Lindsay ... if Lindsay is convicted of felony grand theft, the judge in that case would also consider the scathing probation report.  The maximum sentence Lindsay would get for felony grand theft is 1 year in state prison.

Mind you Judge Schwartz' job is to try and settle cases, which is why he's willing to go pretty easy on Lindsay.

Short story -- Lindsay is crazy not to accept Judge Schwartz' offer.

Lindsay's lawyer, Shawn Holley, tells TMZ, "Judge Schwartz made it abundantly clear Thursday, on the record, that the probation violation, if proven, would be based on the theft allegation and nothing more.  If there was such 'devastating' information in the Probation Report, wouldn't the allegations be based on that?"

Matt McConaughey's Mom Gets Cheeky

Matthew McConaughey's mother Kay stole the spotlight from her son by flashing some thigh -- and her maternal panties -- at the premiere of "The Lincoln Lawyer" in L.A. last night.



Showing skin just runs in their family.

Nicole Scherzinger: Cheryl Cole's Newcastle accent is charming

Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger loves hearing Cheryl Cole's voice

Nicole Scherzinger was a guest judge on The UK X Factor

Both Nicole Scherzinger and Cheryl Cole would love to sit by Simon Cowell's side on The US X Factor judging panel, but it looks as if the Pussycat Doll has more of a chance than our feisty Geordie.
Fox TV bosses are said to be worried that American audiences will struggle to understand Cheryl, 27 - so she's reportedly working with a voice coach. 
'I think that her accent is charming,' says US beauty Nicole, 32.
'It probably sounds a lot more fun and interesting to listen to her than me do my southern slang!'
Even so, Nicole's keen for Simon, 51, to give her the job.
'I've put a lot of thought into it,' she told Heart Radio.
'I had my reservations because it's such a huge commitment but I think I would like to do it if it was meant to be.
'If it's supposed to work out, then it will, that's how I feel about it.
'We'll see. I'm a strong believer in everything is meant to be for a reason.'

SHOCK! Cheryl Cole's brother is jailed for 6 years

Andrew Tweedy is locked up for involvement in robbery

Cheryl Cole's brother Andrew breached an earlier suspended sentence for attacking a man

Cheryl Cole's big brother Andrew Tweedy was jailed for 6 years today after admitting his involvement in planning an armed robbery in May last year.
The 30-year-old, who breached a suspended sentence imposed for attacking a man and dousing him in pepper spray, pleaded guilty to conspiracy to rob and possession of a firearm with intent.
Andrew let his 4 accomplices borrow his imitation handgun for a raid on a post office near his home in Longbenton, Tyneside, which netted the criminals £2,000.
'[Andrew] provided the gun to the robbers and his home was both the meeting point before the robbery and the hide out after it,' Gavin Doig, prosecuting, told Newcastle Crown Court.

Andrew is Cheryl's half-brother.
Mum Joan Callaghan had Andrew, Joseph, Gillian and Andrew before meeting Cheryl's dad Gary Tweedy and giving birth to Cheryl and brother Garry, 23.
Her parents, who never married, separated when she was 11.

Victoria Beckham wants to double dress to impress at Royal Wedding

Posh sees a brilliant opportunity to showcase her fashion range

David Beckham has warned Posh that she needs to let Kate Middleton shine on her big day

Victoria Beckham is determined to look sensational in 2 of her own frocks at Kate Middleton and Prince William's wedding - one for the ceremony and another for the reception.
David Beckham doesn't want Posh to steal the limelight from the bride-to-be, but she's very excited about millions of people worldwide seeing her designs.
'Victoria's already told her team she wants 2 dresses, plus matching bags and shoes of course,' reveals Now's insider.
'She's keen on an empire line  dress with a split as she'll be heavily pregnant by that time and thinks that'll be most flattering.'
It's also rumoured Victoria, 36, is creating a honeymoon outfit for Kate, who's an avid fan of her collection.
But one person who won't be champing at the bit to wear her dresses is former bandmate Mel B, 35.
Although Mel's dismissed rumours they've fallen out, the pair reportedly haven't spoken since  October, when Mel bombarded Posh with phone calls and texts asking to borrow clothes from her collection to wear on her reality show It's A Scary World.
All hell broke loose when Vic declined, saying her samples weren't the right size for Mel's curvy frame - despite similarly voluptuous Kate Winslet recently being photographed in a Beckham dress for US magazine Glamour.
Ooh, we love a bit of handbags at dawn!

Justin Bieber: I don't think you should have sex with anyone unless you love them

Justin Bieber isn't into one-night stands

Justin Bieber's turning the UK into Beliebers

Never Say Never star Justin Bieber is dating gorgeous Disney actress Selena Gomez - but Justin will be taking things slowly.
Selena, 18, has worn a purity ring since she was 12 and the pair share strong Christian views.
'I don't think you should have sex with anyone unless you love them,' says Justin, 17, who's currently on tour in the UK.
'I think you should just wait for the person you're...in love with.'
Justin's single mum Pattie Mallette became an evangelical Christian after giving birth to the teen sensation at the age of 18.
'She was a good person but she made mistakes,' he tells You. 'She changed her life around because of me.'

Jessica Biel "Devastated" Over Split With Justin Timberlake

PacificCoastNews.com

Here we go again. Word, from yet another highly reliable source, is that the notorious together, not-together couple Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are supposedly calling it quits, again.
This is not a new decision, as we've been reporting the beautiful couple's on-off relationship for some time. Plus, the fact that Justin and Jessica barely interacted with each other at the Vanity Fair Oscars afterparty doesn't help their severe case of relationship denial.
So are these two dunzo for real this time?
A very good source says that the two have def split and that it was Justin who did the breaking up. The source adds Jessica is "devastated" over the reportedly final decision.
Reps for both stars could not be reached.
But a good friend to Jessica wasn't so mum:
"Jessica is not devastated," piped the pal. "That's just crap. She's a very independent, proud woman with her own career, she's fine." Good to hear, honey!
The multitalent and his pretty other half have been fighting breakup reports since 2009. His career is red-hot. Hers, much less so.
Seems to us, now that J.T. is trying to break through in the movie Industry, he's becoming less and less interested in playing the paparazzi game of always having a gorgeous babe on his arm, whatever the reason.
Also, he did seem pretty convincing in the Friends With Benefits trailer as a single guy, no? Coincidence? Perhaps.
Regardless, we're sorry the two are experiencing the pain of splitting, which is never fun, even when it's for the best.