Is Lindsay Lohan being paid to party, and how and where do we apply for her job?

Lindsay Lohan is still in London, in case you were wondering where those vomit slicks down the pavements of Soho came from, in case you have been struck by a tumbleweed made up entirely of clumps of ginger hair.  It's Lindsay, all Lindsay.

And though we are all holding our collective breaths and crossing our collective fingers in the hopes that LiLo is in London to make an appearance on Celebrity Big Brother, it seems she is actually in town for a whole 'nother different reason. Because she is being paid to party, or, as some might put it, 'because she has the best job in this whole stupid world'.

 

PARTY HARD PARTY HARD PARTY HARD

According to Mum Dina Lohan, the reason Lindsay is in the UK isn't because of CBB or because she wants to hold up a boombox outside Max George's house, but because a Brunei businessman whose favourite hobby is paying celebrities to hang out with him is, uh, paying Lindsay $100,000 to hang out with him. Dear Haji Abdul Azim: We are also available to party.

"Lindsay is not doing Celebrity Big Brother," Dina told The Huffington Post, although we can still dream. And a source close to Lindsay added: "Everyone, including Mariah Carey, Chace Crawford and Raquel Welch, have accepted his invites in the past, so it's no shame on Lindsay." It's not weird, basically. Stop thinking it's weird.